For 41 years, every Thanksgiving, every birthday, and every quiet moment in between, Kim wondered about the baby boy she placed for adoption at 17. She hoped he was safe, loved, healthy, and happy.
“I always prayed he would come looking for me,” she said.
In 1983, adoptions were often closed, birth parents had little voice, and very few details were shared. Kim held her baby briefly and was told almost nothing—no updates, no letters, no photos. Just years of wondering and hoping.
This year, everything is different.
When Kim became pregnant in 1983, she was 17, in Catholic school, and living at home. When her mother discovered the pregnancy, Kim delivered her baby boy at Stamford Hospital two weeks later.
Her mother contacted Family & Children’s Aid, now Family & Children’s Agency (FCA), and arranged a closed adoption. Kim briefly held her son, then he was taken to the nursery. She did not choose his adoptive family and was given very little information.
“At 17, I had no choice,” Kim said. “I always prayed he would come looking for me.”
For 41 years, Kim wondered if he was safe, loved, and okay. She thought about him every August 29, his birthday, and told her two younger children about their older brother so they would never be surprised by his existence.
“I have been worried for 41 years that he was in a good home, that he wasn’t abused, that he wasn’t locked in jail,” she said.
Reaching back to the agency that placed her son
As the years went on, Kim built a life. She served in the Navy, raised two children, and built a long career as a nurse at Stamford Hospital, the same place where she gave birth to her first child.
The longing to know her son never went away. She considered searching earlier, but family pressure and uncertainty about her rights held her back.
In 2023 Kim decided it was finally time. She contacted FCA’s adoption program, where she connected with Devon, a social worker who supports adult adoptees and birth parents exploring searches.
Together, they reviewed Kim’s options. FCA provided a non-identifying summary of the adoption file so she could learn more about where her son had been placed. Kim then requested a formal search.
Using archived records and a secure search database, FCA located Adam and sent a letter to his home. A short time later, Devon called Kim with the news she had been waiting decades to hear: Adam had received the letter and wanted contact.
“I was over the moon,” Kim said. “My biggest fear was that he would not want anything to do with me.”
In a remarkable twist, two weeks before that call, Adam’s birth father, Terry, also reached out to Kim for the first time since they were teenagers, asking if he could be included if their son was found. Today, both birth parents are in Adam’s life.
“We just embraced each other”
Devon helped arrange their first meeting at a restaurant halfway between their homes.
“I made sure I got there early,” Kim said. “When he walked in, I recognized him from the picture. I said, ‘Can I hug you?’ and he said yes. We just embraced each other for a while.”
Kim describes their time together as peaceful and natural. They swapped phone numbers that day and have been in frequent contact ever since.
Their families have begun to blend as well. Kim has met Adam’s two children, and he has met his siblings and their children. The cousins play together and are already talking about longer visits, planning to spend New Years together this year.
“My other two kids welcomed him with open arms,” Kim said. “We are just having a great time.”
Adam, who grew up as an only child in a loving family in New Haven, had always known he was adopted. He is now planning to introduce Kim to his adoptive parents, and Kim is grateful for the care they gave her son.
“I am so indebted to them for taking my son and raising him as their own,” she said.
Adoption then and now
Kim’s experience reflects what adoption looked like in the 1980s when closed adoptions were common and minor birth parents had little control over the process. Today, FCA’s adoption program focuses on informed choice, options counseling, openness when possible, and support for everyone involved, including those who placed or were adopted decades ago.
For Kim, that support changed everything.
“I am so, so happy,” she said. “My life is now complete.”
Kim said, “March 4th changed our lives forever. How blessed are we to have a second chance to be parents to our son, and we get to be grandparents to two boys. A 41-year journey that ends with no more wondering, worries, tears or sleepless nights, just love!”
During National Adoption Month and especially during this season of gratitude, FCA honors stories like Kim and Adam’s, which show that adoption is not a single event but a lifelong journey.
If you are a birth parent, adoptee, or adoptive parent who would like to learn more about FCA’s adoption and search services, our team is here to listen, provide information, and help you explore your options.
