When emotions start to feel overwhelming or anxiety takes over, having a few reliable self-regulation tools can make all the difference. These quick, evidence-based techniques can help you slow down, reconnect with your body, and bring your mind back to the present moment. Try a few to see what works best for you.
This child-friendly technique works for people of all ages. Hold out one hand with fingers spread wide, and use your other pointer finger to slowly trace the outline of your hand. As you trace up a finger, breathe in. As you trace down, breathe out. Continue until you’ve traced all five fingers, focusing on the rhythm of your breath and the calming motion of your hand.
Square breathing is a powerful tool for managing stress and anxiety. Picture a square in your mind. As you breathe in for four counts, trace one side of the square. Hold your breath for four counts along the next side, exhale for four counts along the third, and hold again for four counts to complete the square. Repeat several times to steady your breathing and heart rate.
Temperature can play a surprising role in calming your nervous system by stimulating the vagus nerve. Try holding an ice cube, pressing a cold pack to the back of your neck or under your arm, or even taking a brief cold shower. The physical shock of the temperature change helps interrupt spiraling thoughts and brings your focus back to your body and the present moment.
This grounding exercise helps you reconnect to your surroundings through your senses. Take a deep breath, then name:
Starting at 100, count backward by sevens. It’s harder than it sounds! The mental effort redirects your focus and can stop anxious or intrusive thought loops in their tracks.
Lightly tapping your legs, shoulders, or rubbing your palms along your thighs activates both sides of the brain, which can reduce the intensity of stress and anxiety. It’s a discreet, physical way to help your body calm down and re-center.
If you have a few minutes, guided meditations and body scans are available on YouTube and mindfulness apps. These gentle practices lead you through noticing each part of your body, relaxing muscles, and grounding your thoughts.
A small piece of sour candy or something spicy can interrupt intrusive thoughts much like cold temperature changes do. The strong sensory experience pulls your attention back to the moment.
Carrying a small item like a stone, keychain, or token can serve as a reminder to practice your self-regulation skills. When you hold it, focus on how it feels in your hand, its texture and temperature. This small act can help bring you back to the present.
If you or someone you know needs support, contact Family & Children’s Agency at http://www.familyandchildrensagency.org or 203-855-8765. The 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline is also available for 24/7 confidential assistance.
